My name is Kelly and this is my story.
I have always dreamed of being a wife and mother. In this day of liberation and career women, being educated and having a career myself, it feels just a bit funny to say that, but it is true. From the time I was a small child it has been true. In 2000 I became pregnant with my first child and I was thrilled. The pregnancy proceeded without incident until it ended suddenly due to a condition called incompetent cervix which until that point was undiscovered in me. My first son Gabriel was born prematurely and lived 34 perfect minutes before passing away in my arms. Despite corrective surgery, two subsequent pregnancies failed; one before birth (Emmanuel), and the third resulted in the 39 minute life of my daughter Norma Karen. These children would be 10, 7 and 6 years old were they alive today. I cherish each of these children and the changes wrought in the world by their short lives.
In the year following the birth and death of Norma, my husband of ten years informed me of his homosexuality and subsequently left the marriage. After a period of grieving I took stock of my hopes and dreams and found them to be the same as they have ever been – I just happened to be 140 pounds heavier. I looked in the mirror, realized that my life was worth living, my dreams were worth pursuing, and so I began the process of bringing them all to fruition. To that end I began a journey toward physical health and began the process of international adoption.
International adoption is what is available to single women; domestic adoption of a healthy child is nearly impossible as birth mothers choose their adoptive families and there are plenty of two-parent families waiting for children. I have been in this process now for over 4 years and have spent over 40,000 dollars between necessary legal and foreign country fees. I received a proposal for a son almost a year ago from Ethiopia, which I gratefully accepted and celebrated. After following his progress through photos and medical reports, and supporting him financially for 10 months, the country of Ethiopia virtually shut down its international adoption process before he had been legally released into my care through the court system. He has now been assigned to live out his life in a government funded Ethiopian orphanage. International adoption comes with no refunds or guarantees. The money I have paid in Ethiopia has been spent and will never be returned to me.
The next chapter for me was deciding whether to continue with the adoption process or not. This is the only thing I have ever been sure of in my entire life and I do not waver on this conviction; I am meant to parent a living child. My agency (Sunrise) in Vancouver is working very hard to help me realize this dream and they have applied the Canadian portion of the fees I paid to a new adoption in Lesotho. The outstanding balance on that adoption will be $12,800 payable in July. I do not have that money and I will not make it in the allotted timeframe. I could borrow it, but as a single woman going on a maternity leave I have no way of paying that money back for the first year and debt is not the state in which I wish to begin parenthood.
I have accomplished much over these four years. I lost that 140 pounds and gained double that in self-respect. I have learned that circumstances can be difficult but it is my response to difficult circumstances that dictates the quality of my life, not the circumstances themselves. I endeavour to bring those lessons to my classroom each and every day (I am a school teacher). One of the hardest lessons for me is the one I try to teach most often and well. Together we can accomplish what no one of us can alone and it is a sign of strength, not weakness, to ask for help. This has been a miraculous journey for me but I need to be truthful about the fact that I need help. If you can help me with a contribution I would be very grateful. I will likely never be in a position to pay back your kindness but I give my word that I will most certainly pay it forward. In this case, it really does take a village. xo Kelly

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